Speed dating can offer a safe space to find love, relief from 'swipe fatigue'

Attendees are seen at a speed dating event in Toronto in an undated handout photo. THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO-Flare Events

WINNIPEG — When Joseph David decided to re-enter the dating scene, it wasn’t something he was used to.

The divorced father of two met his former wife when online dating was limited to a handful of matchmaking websites that were often seen as a last resort for the perpetually unattached — not the singlehood staples that dating apps are today.

As David, 49, was looking at options to meet new people, he quickly knew he wasn’t keen on popular apps that require users to swipe on a photo of a prospective match.

“I like to meet people in person. I want that direct interaction. To meet them, to know who they are. I’d rather do that than sit on my couch swiping left or right,” David said.

Family members eventually encouraged David to try speed dating.

Intrigued by the idea, he signed up for an event in Winnipeg.

“Because I was out of the dating market for so long, I wanted to try this at a place that was safe, where everyone is looking for a relationship or someone to meet,” said David.

While he didn’t find a long-term match, he was able to meet someone in person and learn more about them beyond a curated online profile.

Speed dating was developed in Los Angeles around 1998 by a rabbi as a way for young Jewish singles to find a partner. The concept soon spread across the United States then into other countries.

In the 2010s, speed dating took a back seat as smartphones made round-the-clock access to the online world possible. Dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, Hinge and Bumble gave singles an easy way to meet a potential romantic partner.

By 2022, nearly nine per cent of Canadians aged 15 and older had used dating apps, data from Statistics Canada suggests.

Around this time, restrictions from the COVID-19 pandemic began to lift. After being forced to turn online, people had to relearn how to socialize.

That’s what led Sabrina Friesen, a mental health counsellor, to create Winnipeg Connect.

“Speed dating was kind of more about creating safe spaces for people to learn to be together,” said Friesen.

“A lot of us really struggled post-COVID-19 to get back into this idea that people are safe, social connection is safe, being in a new setting is safe.”

Numbers from ticketing agency Eventbrite show Canadian dating and singles events grew by 76 per cent from 2023 to 2024, up from 47 per cent growth between 2022 and 2023.

Friesen ran speed dating and friending events in Manitoba’s capital from 2022 to 2024. Each took place in a social setting, like a brewery. Conversations lasted seven minutes. At the end of the night, participants provided Friesen with their picks, and she sent out matches.

Friesen heard from participants that they liked how the format required people to be locked in with each other for a set time, allowed people to start out on agreed upon terms and didn’t require days of emotional labour.

“The back and forth on apps and the long gaps between a response and the quality of conversation in apps is something I heard that is lacking. People have said they have the same conversation over and over again,” she said.

That’s partly why Maryana Kravets decided to give speed dating a shot two years ago.

The 37-year-old mostly relied on dating apps to meet people in Winnipeg. Originally from Toronto, she found opportunities to make new friends and socialize were limited.

She found apps lacked real-world connection.

“Sometimes you’ll talk to somebody and everything’s wonderful, but they don’t even bother asking you out,” she said.

“The world that we created with phones, we’re not even forced to try and date a person.”

Despite not securing any romantic leads, Kravets said speed dating was a worthwhile exercise in broadening her social circle, including meeting new female friends.

Speed dating can also appeal to people who don’t thrive on spontaneity.

“The rigid structure can really set them up for success, especially people in the neurodiverse space,” said Matt Paoli, founder of Flare Events, a Canadian speed dating and matchmaking service.

“I’ve known people who really don’t do well when there are last-minute changes.”

Paoli’s Toronto-based company, launched in 2020, hosts events in Ontario, Quebec, Manitoba and Alberta.

He said he’s heard from others who are experiencing “swipe fatigue” and turn to speed dating events because, outside of dating apps, many don’t know how to meet people in romantic settings anymore.

It’s not without its downsides. Participants say small dating pools can mean the same people show up to events and checking yes or no on a form can be off-putting.

For David, speed dating gave him the confidence to approach people again.

“It’s only a matter of time where I do find somebody and I don’t necessarily need to buy a ticket to go through that.”

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Feb. 14, 2025.

Brittany Hobson, The Canadian Press